how to get carried away

There are times when I will lay on the grass, I will look at a car and think that can fit 8 of me. Then I will look at a tram and remember its capacity. It will pass a building I will stare at and I will wonder how many desks on how many floors could be occupied by my meagre person. The building stretches to the clouds and I see a plane scuttling through them, bursting the sky’s cotton on exit like sports teams through paper banners. It’s miniscule in comparison, and I have travelled so many places in them. I’ve only ever had 1 of the 250 seats assigned to me. One window, one tray for food, one tiny pillow that provides more comfort as something to hold onto than to rest against. I prefer to look down at the lights of places I can’t tell the names of in the dark. Think of all the lives I’ll never know, and think of the ways I could have made them laugh if I did.

There are things in things. This humble jet is one more haggered employee late for work and the altocumulus clouds are 4 city blocks it must traverse on its way to getting reprimanded by a boss that shows up once a week. Serendipity can be a bitch.

By the time I have reached past the atmosphere, it has been well and truly night for a while now. And the stars, so distant, ferocious balls of gas, titans to the clouds – I cannot even imagine how many of my clones would be necessary to cover their surface. And god damnn – it just overwhelms me sometimes in the most cacophonous array of bewilderment and awe and terror. And I get to feeling so puny and ineffectual. Until I am distracted by the tickling sensation of an ant tap dancing across my wrist. And the blades of grass that have molded to the shape of whatever of me touched them, long enough to wear a coat of chlorophyll. And I am reminded that something so small can bear 9 times its own weight. Maybe enough of them will come along and help me reenact scenes from ‘Gulliver’s Travels’? But really, 9 times their own weight – phenomenal. I can’t physically accomplish that, but I do believe that there have been many times I have carried the equivalent in emotional cargo. And each day it’s getting a little lighter.

 

ant rose petal

Jeg vil vite hva du tenker.